Sunday, January 9, 2011

Modern Mothering The Chinese Way


After years of analysis and introspection, I've finally found out what is wrong with me.  I didn't have a Chinese mother.
Thanks to the article from the Wall Street Journal  
It must be that having an American white Anglo Saxon Protestant mother was the cause of all my issues.

According to Ms Chua, a Professor of Law at Yale,
here's the Chinese way of superior mothering:
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.
But be sure to read the entire article to understand her more about her mothering methods.

Just imagine the accomplishments that I could have had in my youth and the success in my adult life if my mother had just raised me the Chinese way! 
Let's see, obviously I was raised with vast disadvantages. 
To name a few I was a girl scout, I went to camp, I slept over at my friend's houses, I watched tv, I practiced the piano less than 2 hours a day, I was in a school play, I was in honors classes but I wasn't required to be the best in every subject....sadly, I could go on and on.

It's true that in my early childhood, my mother was not only busy raising 3 children, she was also involved in her ladies group, where no doubt there were fashion shows and gourmet cooking parties.  She was sporty too and played a lot of tennis at the country club.  Later in my childhood, she worked and I was a latch key kid.
Obviously, she didn't micro manage my life nor my brother's lives.

Don't get me wrong, I would have preferred to have had a more involved mother and Mrs. Chua is certainly correct about the benefits of studying music and about setting high goals for your children. 
Economist Thomas Sowell from the Hoover Institute has written about how certain ethnic groups are more likely to succeed because of their emphasis on education.
Indeed, many American parents are only too happy to abandon all standards for their children and over indulge them with toys, computer games and tv, and under indulge them with academic expectations.

Sill, I wonder, does Rupert Murdoch's Chinese wife, Wendy Deng Murdoch, spend every afternoon monitoring her two daughter's homework and piano lessons.

Also, given that China had the culture that practiced foot binding and brought us Jiang Qing, aka Madame Mao, another fine example of a Chinese mother, why did the Journal choose to publish this article?